Baywatch Review: Not The Dirty Little Secret You Expected

It would be a lie if I say that the minute I heard Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Zac Efron were to be in Baywatch, I wasn’t thrilled and extremely excited. And when you add our Priyanka Chopra in that eclectic mix, things were looking to be too damn fun. But now that I have watched it, I am just fine. The excitement has died down because the editor of the film, the chief of CBFC, Pahlaj Nihalani played the part so well that there’s nothing left in it.


The film starts with the introduction of the lifeguards on the beaches of Emerald Bay where Dwayne is running in slow-mo and CJ is saving people’s life in slow mo. She looks absolutely perfect while doing so, and Dwayne, of course, being Dwayne looks slick. Honestly, what is infuriating is that the visual representation of body parts has been chopped off but the slow-mo shots of women running are served as leftovers. This half-baked chopped wonder makes you cringe your teeth because the jump cuts are A class.


Containing my anger, while I focus on pretty people and a prettier beach, I was wondering to myself if half the scenes are also making sense. As it is the plot of the film is so convenient and then you go ahead and randomly remove the things that make it funny. Disgraceful! Isn’t it?


Dwayne Johnson plays the part of Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon and Zac Efron as Matt Brody is a new recruit who has been hired to up the PR game of the beach. Mitch is an idealist and Matt is a realist. While Mitch wants to be a part of everything that happens on his beach- good or bad, Matt’s plan is only to jump in and out of water. Priyanka Chopra as Victoria Leeds comes in and makes life hell for the team of lifeguards on the beach. She owns a club on the beach and wants to turn it into something Mitch wouldn’t approve- drugs, slaying of rich businessmen and what not. She will do anything to get what she wants. She even makes a remark, ” I am not a Bond villain…. yet..” From the background, I am sure you know by now what the plot is going to be.

Woah! You’re absolutely right!


I wanted to go in for the film to have some laughs after a long day but half of it is spoilt by the man with the scissors and the other half by director Seth Gordon who wanted to turn this into a crime caper. But the camaraderie between Zac and Dwayne is the one to look forward to as he refers to the pretty boy by boy band names. Dwayne looks at Zac and says, ” Where are you from? One Direction…” And that’s the only time everyone has a splitting laugh.

More or less, the film was supposed to be a light-hearted frisky one with a few dirty jokes but they spoilt it. So unfair!

This article was first published on Filtercopy

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